Tag Archives: Bob Rich

The Hole in Your Life by Bob Rich – interview

Bob, welcome to Canada. You have recently published your 20th book. What is it about?

Thank you, Melanie. We Australians look on Canadians as our cousins. (Well, for me, all sentient beings in the universe are family, but of course some are closer than others.)

This book, The Hole in Your Life: Grief and Bereavement, joins five of my previous books in helping people to cope with suffering: psychological self-help. It took flight in June, in response to the death of my daughter, Natalie, last December.

hole

Was your daughter’s death the only driving force behind you writing The Hole in Your Life?

My computer is a sort of a coolstore with LOTS of clutter on the shelves. I have more ideas than time to develop them, so there they sit, waiting for sunlight before they can sprout and flower.

After I completed From Depression to Contentment: A self-therapy guide and its companion volume, Lifting the Gloom: Antidepressant writings, the next logical step was to continue the series with a book on dealing with grief. So, I did.

One of the greatest joys of my counseling psychology practice was being of service to a young couple. They had separated, each consumed by both blame of the other and guilt, to the point of contemplating suicide. Yes, both of them, and I won’t tell you why, so there. After nine separate sessions with each, then three joint sessions, they reconciled, and as far as I know, they lived happily ever after beyond my six-month follow-up.

Being a storyteller, I based the book around their story, with other clients illustrating points that I couldn’t tie to them.

A necessary part of the book is “what is grief?” I wanted to use extended quotes from an excellent book by an author I admire, and having written the relevant section I emailed it to her, asking for her permission and endorsement. To my surprise what I got in return was hostility. “You keep your sticky fingers off my words!”

I didn’t feel like rewriting tens of thousands of words, so the book went into the coolroom. I focused on fiction, which is more fun anyway.

When Natalie was diagnosed with cancer, I excavated the draft and read it to refresh my memory on the best way to process grief. Rewriting the whole thing was part of the process of doing this processing. (I do love English.)

It is now something like the double helix of DNA. One strand is that young couple’s story. The second is my progression along the grief journey.

In our insane world, a book instructing you on the best way to grieve is a life-saving tool. Sooner or later, all of us lose a person important in our lives. The ways of thinking and doing (“techniques”) that work for bereavement also work for other serious losses, like, say, a stroke, your employer going broke, becoming homeless… insert your personal disaster. And anyone with a shred of empathy is likely to be traumatized by second-hand grief from the ongoing horror story of the news.

And if nothing much bothers you right now, change is the only constant. You can enjoy my writing while you can concentrate on it, and know what to do when, inevitably, heaven flips into hell.

One of the techniques of processing grief is to be of benefit to others as a direct result of your loss. I give several examples in my book, but hey, I’ve given you an example right here. Because The Hole in Your Life reduces the suffering of its readers, it helps me to reduce my suffering. One of the rules of the universe is “The more you give the more you get, and the more you give the more you grow.” And guess what. Being of benefit is one of the techniques validated by research in positive psychology.

So, the more people benefit from my book, the more I benefit. I’d give it away for free, except for two considerations. One is that my publisher quite reasonably expects to have a return on his investment. The second is that people don’t value something free.

I can prove this. Someone near where I live put a fridge outside his house with “Free to a good home” on a sign. It stood there for a week. So, he replaced the sign with “$50. Please knock on my door.” You’ve guessed it. The fridge was gone in the morning.

Therefore, I do the generosity another way. Send me proof of purchase of this book, or any other listed at https://bobrich18.wordpress.com/bobs-booklist/ and you have earned a free electronic book of one of my other titles. Well, if you insist, it can be the same one.

Similarly, if you have earned a free book if you subscribe to my blog, Bobbing Around https://bobrich18.wordpress.com

 

You’ve had a varied career. Which job did you enjoy the most? What was the one you most disliked?

Oh yes, I careered (dictionary definition: move swiftly and in an uncontrolled way—told you I love English) from career to career, managing to enjoy my stay in each.

I did not dislike any of them until I stopped the activity. Then, looking back, I was grateful for not having to do that anymore.

You can read lost about Buddhist psychology at Bobbing Around, and this is part of it. Whatever is, is, and is all right. Time is an illusion. Only this moment exists. You can live a good life by being contented with this moment, whatever it is.

Right now as I type, I have several points of physical pain. As always, 24/7, I have a ringing in my ears, thanks to too many rifles fired in the army, and too many power tools doing their thing near me. My wife is in hospital, and my son-in-law is waiting for an operation for cancer. And yet, if you read over my rave so far, have you noticed the fun, contentment, laughter?

If I can live this way, so can you.

What career did I enjoy the most? You may find it shocking that it is the current one. Whatever I am fully engaged in is electrifying. This is more of living in the Now.

Right now, I have careered into being a Professional Grandfather.

That started in 1972 when I enjoyed the company of a toddler and a baby whenever I went home from work. This was the year for writing up my PhD thesis, and while research is fun, the literary follow-up is stultifying. Being Mr. Rich, their lecturer, to 709 students meant I couldn’t fall asleep in the library, so I did some side research to forecast the kind of world I had brought my two lovely children into.

The results were horrifying: I accurately predicted today’s world. I have been a humanitarian and environmental activist since. Trouble is, money outvotes passion, so my efforts have failed to unconfirm my predictions.

So, my remaining occupation continues to be striving for a tomorrow for today’s youngsters, and a tomorrow worth living in. The second part is as important as the first: transforming global culture into one ruled by empathy, decency, fairness, generosity, cooperation, taking the long-term view.

What’s next for Bob Rich?

Death of course.

Greedy moneybags can escape taxes, but…

If I die today, I’ll be content with having lived a good life and achieved an enormous amount of spiritual growth, which is the purpose of life. If I live another 20 years, OK, I can put up with it. After all, death is not the end of the book, only of a chapter. If you want the scientific evidence for this, have a read of “The other side of death,” which you’ll find at https://wp.me/p3Xihq-3oq

I have a great deal of personal experience, plus this evidence, which has led me to a theory of the nature of our universe, our role in it, and what life is for.

There is only one way to get 100% proof one way or the other, and that’s to get rid of the body and see what’s after.

My fictionalized autobiography, Ascending Spiral, includes the account of five of my previous lives. If it is accurate, I am here on earth at this time to witness the extinction of humanity, or to be an effective agent in stopping that extinction.

So, Melanie, please join my team and encourage everyone you know to do the same.

 

All About Bob

hole

Bob Rich, PhD, is a visitor from a faraway galaxy, where he is an historian of horror. So, Earth is his favorite place in the universe. Nowhere else do sentient beings engage in a game of killing non-combatants (war). Nowhere else are child raising practices designed to harm children. And delicious for an historian of horror: nowhere else is the entire global economy designed to destroy its life support system.

Here on Earth, he is disguised as an Australian storyteller, with 20 published books, six of which, and over 40 short stories, have won awards.

He has retired five times so far.

Above all, he is a Professional Grandfather. Anyone born since 1993 is his grandchild. Everything he does strives for a survivable future for them, and one worth surviving in. This means environmental and humanitarian activism: an attempt to change a worldwide culture of greed and aggression into one of compassion and cooperation.

When he was 23, a minister of religion told him he was a Buddhist. On checking, he found his philosophy set out in beautiful words. He decided not to sue the Buddha for plagiarism, as an act of metta (lovingkindness).

Direct from Australia, please welcome Dr. Bob Rich! #author #giveaway

Hi, Bob. Welcome to Celtic Connexions. I’ve had a nosey around your website and blog to get a better insight into the man who is Bob Rich. You have your fingers in many pies, as they say. Author, psychologist, environmentalist.

Thank you, Melanie, for the honor of having me here. I promise to behave as well as I can, which is usually not very good.

There is something funny about “psychologist.” In Australia, this is a registered term. I would be breaking the law if I referred to myself as a psychologist, even as in “retired psychologist.” Go to jail, go directly to jail, do not collect $200. 🙂  So, I have to be careful and say something like, “Bob Rich has a Ph.D. in psychology and 22 years’ experience in psychological counseling.”

While as Bob Rich I have no Celtic connections at all, I have actually been an Irishman who was transported to New South Wales (what later became Australia) for the term of his natural life. If that sounds odd, you have to read the story of my life, Ascending Spiral.

I met Bob recently, after he left a comment on my blog interview of our mutual (but virtual) friend, Joan Y. Edwards.

What compelled you to start writing? I use that phrase because as writers, we’re driven to do it.

I’ve always been buzzing with ideas, but never knew I was a writer until 1980. I enjoyed distance running, and as the miles passed, I sort of meditated, without thought, but at the same time all sorts of things cooked in the background. In school and university, that’s how I dealt with essays and assignments: read the question, go for a run, have the answer all ready and hardly needing any revision. Often, though, what cooked was some story or monologue or a new way of looking at something. I didn’t share these with anyone — who could possibly be interested in MY ravings — but many years later, these ancient thoughts were the kernels of some of my best stories.

I did scientific research in exactly the same way. I still didn’t know I was a writer, but my reports were actually readable. Then I retired for the first time at 35 years of age, and started building an adobe house, with my own hands, not by hiring Experts. I even invented a new way of making the bricks. One day, the local kids were playing a boys vs. girls soccer game, and needed one more male. They kidnapped me, and who was I to argue? I went, muddy boots and all, slipped, and tore a cartilage in my knee. Let me tell you, this is not a good idea. So, there I was in hospital, with nothing to do. I borrowed the office typewriter (you know, one of those ancient things with wire levers, worked entirely with biological power), and wrote an article about my new way of making adobe bricks for Earth Garden magazine.

I’m still writing for them, 39 years later. My articles resulted in my first book, The Earth Garden Building Book. This came out in 1986. The 4th edition finally went out of print in February 2018. During that time it sold hundreds of thousands of copies. This was because although it was well-researched nonfiction, it was also fun to read.

Then I decided to train as a nurse. This meant staying in a nurses’ home. Being surrounded by gorgeous 18-year-olds, I had the choice of making a fool of myself or of doing something useful with my time. So, I tried my hand at short stories. The first one won second prize in a contest, and I’ve been writing fiction since.

Your books have a spiritual side to them, as in goodness prevails in the end. Can you tell us more about this underlying thread that brings the books and characters to life?

Melanie, that’s an astute observation. It is certainly true of the stories I’ve written this century, but it wasn’t always so. Look, until about 15 years ago, if an insect annoyed me, I killed it. I simply can’t do that anymore. I’ll either put up with them, or catch them and take them outside.

My novel, Ascending Spiral is actually my life story, fictionalized to protect the guilty. The hero, Pip, faces all the life experiences I did, but handles them the way I wish I had at the time. This is a valuable form of therapy, as I describe in my latest book, From Depression to Contentment. Because I had significant past life recalls, Ascending Spiral is the story of several lives as experienced by the same spirit (me/Pip). And I learned a lot of things about myself, including that, as Dermot, an Irishman born in 1780, I became a bully. I have no doubt that being on the receiving end for the first 20-odd years of my life was paying fair restitution. So, from my childhood on, I have always hated bullying victimization, exploitation. As a youngster, my response was to belt up the bully. As I grew, this changed to leading the bully to a better way of being.

So, my early novels, and short stories, and my award-winning biography, Anikó: The stranger who loved me celebrate the ability of the downtrodden in overcoming those with power. I have a collection of 26 short stories with the title Striking Back from Down Under. But my first novel to win a first prize, Sleeper, Awake has no villains. There is plenty of tension and conflict, but no nastiness. And, as you note, the books since have the theme of leading people to spiritual growth. This is true of my two recent novels, Guardian Angel and Hit and Run and also of my self-help book, From Depression to Contentment.

Where do your ideas come from?

To some extent, I’ve already answered this question, but if you have time for a few laughs, you might want to read one of my monthly essays on writing at Bobbing Around. There I introduce you to Little Bob, who lives inside my head, and does the actual work.

I mentioned in my introduction you’re an environmentalist. I’m not talking tree-hugging extreme, but you care about climate change and the effects it’s having on the earth. What have you done to create a ‘carbon-neutral’ or as near to as possible in your home and community?

Melanie, there are only two kinds of humans on this planet: Greenies and Suicides. I am a Professional Grandfather. Every person under about 25 qualifies as my grandchild; they only need to apply. I want a survivable future for them, and a future worth surviving in.

In the 1970s, I joined a recently established rural cooperative. Working for a sustainable future was an explicit part of what we were about. This cooperative is still vigorous. I’m still a member, although too many injuries have forced me and my wife to move closer to shops and doctors and things.

One of my mottoes is “Live simply, so you may simply live.” In 2001, I described how I do that, and why, in a speech, Saving Money — and Saving the Future. It even has a handout on what to do to reduce your personal footprint, and the first item is: get rid of your TV.

My electricity bill shows that my daily consumption is about one-tenth of that of my neighborhood. And of course we have solar on the roof. I am a member of a local group with the aim of making our little town 100% carbon neutral, and also a member of a political party with environmental sustainability as its major aim, the Australian Greens.

The trick is to have philosophy come before a list of recipes for action. This philosophy is, “Only two things matter in life: what you take with you when you die, and what you leave behind in the hearts of others. Everything else is Monopoly money.” Let go of stuff, and you won’t be stuffing up our lovely planet.

As a writer, there is always something percolating in the grey matter, whether it’s for the work-in-progress or ideas for future projects. How do you keep track of them?

Sometimes, I carry an idea around for years before doing something with it. Often, something around me leads to a concept, and I record it in a file, which goes into a folder in my computer. I occasionally inspect these, and one might take off.

Do you have a favourite time of day to write? I’m talking bum in chair and fingers on the keyboard (or pen to paper even).

Paper? PAPER? Not while paper is minced trees. In a sane world, paper would be recycled rags, agricultural waste like straw, or harvestable plants like bamboo.

I think on the keyboard, and my favourite time is whenever the world lets me. Before I retired the last (5th) time, this may have been ten-minute spans between clients, or between getting home and “Dinner is on the table, darling!” Now, life is far freer, and I have more time.

Today, I helped to run a solar energy workshop in the morning, then instead of writing worked on my answers to you, then a nice lady from a newspaper came to interview me about that community I mentioned, and if I wasn’t still answering your questions, I’d be writing.

But then, answering questions from lovely people is just as creative. The current children of my mind can wait.

Of your 18 books to date, do you have a favourite?

I don’t like playing favourites among my children. It is always the last project I’ve finished.

What’s next for Bob Rich?

Since early 2015, I’ve had an on and off and on again project, the Doom Healer series. Four books are complete, and I’ve submitted the first to a publisher. I am working on the 5th and probably final volume. This one is fun. Twelve humans have invaded a planet in another Universe, in order to help this Universe to grow up and become enlightened. Only, this planet, Magog, has 26 billion people of the dominant species, who are genetically cannibals, and where punishment for any crime is to have the victim torture you to death as slowly as possible (then eat you).

My twelve “special children” are doing well. You can read the start of this volume here: The Doom Healer part 5.

And what’s next after writing this is to once more thank you. I welcome comments, and am happy to offer an electronic version of one of my books to one randomly chosen person who comments before [2 weeks after the interview goes online]. You can inspect the list of books at Bob’s Booklist.

Here is one of my standard wishes, to you and our visitors:

May you live in contentment.
May you be healthy.
May you rise to your challenges.
And above all, may you grow spiritually.

About Bob

Bob Rich lives inside his computer. Everything outside of that, including you, is an illusion. This is just as well. In the outside world, there is a lot of suffering, and wars, conflict, terrible stuff. In the reality of his computer, you’ll find the same things, only there are solutions that work, so it’s a much nicer place to be.
Bob has been magically inhabiting his private world for a long time, and has written regular reports, some of which are disguised as short stories, others as novels. You can find out about them, and more about him, at his blog, Bobbing Around.
Naturally, you can’t believe anything he says, because he is a storyteller.
The picture shows Bob leaning against one of his favorite people.
Bob
You can follow Bob at the following links:
Writing showcase http://bobswriting.com
Environmental site  http://mudsmith.net
Newsletter archives with lots of good stuff http://mudsmith.net/bobbing.html

 

Thanks so much for agreeing to this interview. It’s been a pleasure hosting you here, today. Don’t forget the giveaway for your chance to win an electronic copy of one of Bob’s books!